Tag Archive | woman

I’m a woman

I’m a woman. I think. I hate. I lie. I cheat. I’m not a virgin. I’m not a whore. Because, you know, women aren’t either virgins or whores – they are a complex mix of both. We have vices and virtues. We are not White or Black, we are fifty thousand shades of grey. We are complex. We are human. We have urges, as natural as yours. Image

Sometimes, we don’t have them too. You cannot police us. We do not owe anything to you. You do not own us. We are beautiful, we are ugly. We are saints, we are murderers. We are everything; we can be everything, a complex mix of everything.

Accept it; deal with it, live with it.

This note is for those who resort to the popular (at least in India) tactic of silencing and policing women through “Women Are Goddesses, Therefore”*

* This phrase is used to deny women liberty and choice and they are made to fit into an “ideal woman” mould. For example – Give him another chance, be forgiving, women are the embodiment of goddesses after all (at the same time reducing men to grown up boy-children who Refuse To Mature And Must Be Mollycoddled By Women).

A pedestal is as much a prison as any small, confined space”

 – Gloria Steinem

What makes an Indian Woman a Real Woman

What makes an Indian woman a woman? That is, what makes her a proper woman? What makes her womanly, and not a “slut”? Doing what makes her not “invite people to rape/sexually harass her”?

Is it keeping her eyes down when talking to men? Is it thinking her body and her essence to be something shameful? Is it being dependent on her husband for her financial security? Is it sacrificing her health to produce a “waaris” to carry on her husband’s lineage? Is it not eating until the men have eaten? Is it coming home before 10pm so that men are not “provoked” to rape her? Or is not going out of her house at all the ideal?

Here are ten of the most basic things which make an Indian Woman a Proper Woman -:

#1 Wearing a saree

#2 Being a Pavitra Nari

#3 Serving her Pati Parameshwar without any complaint

#4 If she doesn’t have a PP, going on “vrat(s)” to ensure she has one

#5 Working like a slave for the men (and her in-laws) while they rest

#6 Not losing her virginity until that First Night

#7 Being scandalized when anybody talks about smoking, drinking and/or sex

#8 Thinking sex is something men do to women and therefore, suppressing her sex drive by doing “pooja(s)” all the time

#9 Cooking the favorite dishes of the men atleast once in a week

#10 Not speaking out against anything a man says. Anything.

Here are two Never Ever bonus points -:

#11 Never ever reporting a case of rape or sexual harassment to ANYBODY because all her honor will be lost and she will be called “dirty”

#12 Never ever acknowledging it when somebody molests her on the street or the bus (or anywhere) because it is a matter of great shame and she will be thought of as a Loose Woman because, obviously, she must have invited it herself and provoked the poor man.

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Here are the meanings -:

Waaris – Male Heir

Pavitra Nari – Chaste Woman; Pure Woman

Pati Parameshwar – Husband the Prime God (rough translation)

Vrat – Fast

Pooja – A Ceremony to Invoke the Blessings of a God (or Gods)

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PS This list is about a Hindu Indian Woman. I thought I might start with Hindus since they constitute a majority BUT some of the reasons might be applicable to all sections of Indian Women by making minor changes, for eg – replacing words like “Pavitra Nari” with some other equivalent of a community, or replacing saree with burqa or hijab, and sometimes not making any changes at all, like #5 #6 #7 #8 #9 #10 #11 #12. The words used in #3 and #4 also have equivalents in most Indian communities, that is, women are expected to serve their husbands without any complaint and pray they get one when they are single.

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